A year already?

October 2, 2010.. a day that would later make a huge impact on my life.. Thinking about this day in time a year ago. it seems like yesterday, i woke up went to chatt to buy me a camera and go eat at ichibon then headed to my Rylees 3rd birthday party, then back to lorans until church time, church, then back at lorans.. and headed to pick up zak and head to the barn of terror with a few more stops along the way.. anddd long story short that was the night he ask me to be his girlfriend. I cannot hardly believe it would have been a year today. time flies so fast! But thank goodness The Lord got me out of that mess.. :) Now i seen him out and its like i almost forget i spent almost 9 months of my life wasting time on him. & its like nothing ever happened, which is fine with me. I tell people Zak wasnt a relationship, he was a lesson. Because i think it was.. A lesson that taught be to be careful who you trust and who you call your "bestfriends." But the only important thing is that i learn from that lesson. & i do believe i did.. & i cant believe im actually blogging about this right now, makes it sound like i actually care. HA! What i really cant get over is it just doesnt seem like a year since it all started.. Like somebody testified at church about how its been 2 years since something happened to them and looked at mom and I was like "2 YEARS???" i could have promised you it was just like one year ago.. Man time just gets away from us.. Not to mention i just turned 17! yes sweet 17 :) i can hardly believe that either.. I remember when i was younger mom would go tell me to clean her car out and the whole time i would pretend i was driving and being all cool listening to the radio (hahaha) & now its been 1 year since i have been legal to drive! this is just crazy. But back to the birthday...I did have a pretty good birthday :) i spent pretty much the whole day with mom, then when she left for work i went to Kacys and waited on her to get ready then we went to oak grove. & we heard some really good things. :) I just really needed a day out, i dont wanna start complaining because i know if i just stop and look around people have it ALOT worse than i do.. but im just really tired of drama. Why cant i be friends with the people that i wanna be friends with without it making someone else mad.. im sick and tired of losing friends over stupid crap that you really need to grow up about! So from now on im gonna do what makes me happy not what makes my friends happy.. because its my life and i dont need to let other peoples problems ruin my happiness.. When they are just gonna treat me like crap in the end when i do whats right for me. I was tired of the arguing and the fighting so i handled it like i should have a long time ago. Ugh i hate being in the middle of stuff.. its ridiculous. as if i felt like my world wasnt crashing down enough already i have to go and upset a friend (even though i was doing the right thing) & just brings me down lower and lower. But God knows all about it and whats best for me.. & i cant begin to thank him for every single thing that was read at Nila last night.. i needed to hear every bit of it.. I felt like Brother Ray was just reading my mind and knew every bit of my problems. at one point i was trying to think of a phrase that somebody said at oak grove one night, and he said the exact quote that i was trying to think of right before he said it!!!!! (it was.."quitting is not an option") and he talked about how sometimes you can be in a situation where if you do one thing it makes one person mad and if you do another it makes the other mad... and i was just sitting there in amazement because it was like everything he was saying was for me.. and i left there with a better mind about things. & i didnt have to get up and shout all over the floor to do it either.. actually we didnt even get to testify.. i just heard what i REALLY needed to hear.. So thanks Tristan for thinking of me :) & Maybe i can just hold on to what all they said and make it through this week without a breakdown of some sort. Cause i just feel like i have had a huge load on me with all this and i just dont know what to do.. seems like anything i do it upsets somebody. So prayers would be greatly appreciated! well i think i am finally running out of things to say..so i guess thats all for now..

LoVe,

Whitney <3