"my heart is set on you.. i don't want no one else..& if you don't want me i guess i'll be all by myself."

Ever feel like that you like somebody so much you dont care who they are with as long as they are happy? But then again you want to be the person that makes them happy? I guess i just have mixed emotions right now. I dont know how to explain it but sometimes you feel like your friends get tired of hearing about the "one guy" so i guess thats when i turn to my blog. even though i only have a couple followers..lol I mean i've liked this one guy since before i got the HG (or thats when i noticed him anyway) and i pretty much cant keep my mind off of him. It's like sometimes i feel almost like he is the one im suppose to be with but then again he never acts like it. & i just dont know what to do. because im a little old fashioned and not good about the whole "girl making the first move thing" i just cant do it right now. Im afraid of rejection. But i just dont know what to do because it has gotten to the point where i like him so much that i cant date another guy because my feelings for him are always stronger..I mean when i was with Zak i was thinking of him.. and thinking i should break up with him for this guy.. when this guy didnt even know that i liked him. So i couldnt do that. But my feelings have gotten alot stronger since then. & it has come to the point where me and a guy spilt because my feelings were stronger for this guy.& i know what you holy people are thinking.. Pray about it. Well i have..almost all summer long. and Everytime i have prayed for a sign i will get it. But then when i see him out and we dont talk much i get discouraged. But think i think Whitney you have signs... Not just one sign,several signs. But then i start thinking well what if the devil is just letting these signs happen so that i will get so focused on this one guy that i let the actual one just pass me without second thinking it? Ugh why does this have to be so confusing? I just want a REAL relationship. Not one where im cheated on,lied to, or stabbed in the back. That is why right now i want a guy that is a worker..not physically. spiritually. Someone that i can go to church and watch get up and testify and get a blessing. and Pray for me when im not having a good day. Or just pray that i will have a good day. I just want a guy that is willing to treat me right. Because i feel like i have went through alot with guys lately. I just one a holiness guy that i can trust and know that he wont lie to me, or treat me like im just another girl. Even though i've had boyfriends in the past.somehow i dont feel like ive had a real relationship. I feel like they are just lessons that i needed to learn from and to bring me out of things i didnt realize i was getting myself into. Like Looking back at Me & Zak.. mom kept telling me she wished i wouldnt hang out with all the nsm people so much(nothing against them they were just worldly) and wished i hung out with holiness kids,, but i kept telling her mom i dont have holiness friends i can depend on.. But once i really started getting back in church and working harder in church the Lord let me get closer To Kacy and then he sent me Taylor...Which i would rather just have two close holy friends then 10 worldly bestfriends. Because sometimes worldly friends just dont understand when you are going through a trial.. and sometimes they make it worse trying to get out of it, just by little comments they make about how you cant go do certain stuff with them. I know they dont mean to but sometimes thats just the way it goes. But your holy friends.. now they know just how to help you..or maybe they are going through something similar and you can help each make it just one more day and then the lord steps in and takes over and before you know it you both out shouting in the altar together :) Yeah thats an amazing thing. Anyways i'm getting off track. Yeahh maybe somebody out there on Blogger land can read this and help me out. I dont want to give up, not one bit even if he does get another girl.. but i know whatever is meant to work out wil work out.. and i told the lord im willing to wait. As long as its his will.. But i just dont know what to do until then. Do i attempt to date somebody else? or do i just fly solo and keep praying? It's so confusing.. and this point time i wish Dr.Phil lived around here. maybe he would help me out..Then again I told the Lord i would be willing to wait so maybe thats what im suppose to do.. Ugh i just need help..

Love,

the girl that doesnt know what to do.

So don't bring those big brown eyes and tell me that your sorry!

Wow,i have so much on my mind and i know as of now i only have 3 followers but i gotta vent a little even if nobody reads it...so here goes..

I never thought it would end like this. Why me? why her? There is so many things running through my mind i could have said to you, but i didnt. Because i wanna be the bigger and more mature person in this situation. I'm just gonna keep my head up and know that im a good person and i DO NOT deserve anybody that treats me like that. Not a boyfriend. or not even a "best friend". Because what hurt the most was not that fact that it was with my "best friend" it was the fact that i asked you countless times about it and you looked me in the eyes and lied to me. & not only you she had the nerve to lie to when i already knew it was true & how did i actually find out the truth? your bestfriends. yeah they told me the truth before you ever did actually you never told me the truth! and not only did they tell me the truth and anything i wanted to know, they were there to put their arms around me and make me laugh when i was close to my breaking point and tell me they loved me and they cared about me, something you never did. Then i guess you just thought it would blow over like nothing ever happened and fix it by asking me to hang out the next day but no im not gonna fall for that..because as i was standing there listening to you ask me to do something the next day i had the thought wait til tomorrow night to end it, so i didnt know what to do and walked away but knew i couldnt and it was a relief when i made you turn around and come back so i could break up with you because i knew if i didnt do it that night i knew i wouldnt.. As much as it hurt me to im am very glad i ended it with you, because obviously the whole 8 months you never cared nothing about me if you can do what you did to me. I dont give a crap if she made the first move. Baby it takes two, you could have stopped her just like other guys have..I hope you are happy with the choices you made. & I actually find it a blessing that i finally found out the type of person you are! Because honestly i have been wanting to break up with you because you werent the same and it didnt even feel like a relationship anymore because we had barely been talking you never asked me to do anything, so i guess being around me you felt guilty, in which you should have! So.. like i said it was a blessing that this came up because it gave me the nerve to end it with you.. I had been praying for this to be God's will because a relationship/marriage is something i take very seriously and i do not want to end up with the wrong person. But i never dreamed it would come up this way, but now that i think about it i guess God figured if it was something like this i would see you were the wrong person for me and i wouldnt think twice about ever dating you again.. And i hope you realize that i will stick to that. I thought i still wanted to be friends but the more i think about it, the more i think no i just want to have forgiveness in my heart but not have to face you. Because it just gave me a VERY VERY different outlook on you and it will be hard to see you the same again.. So Now even though i was looking forward to NSM's graduation, i dread every bit of it, having to face people and more than likely having to face you. and probably her. But like i said just gonna keep a smile on my face and know that i am a good person and didnt deserve this and do deserve someone better than you..But i do wanna thank my Bucky,Patrick,Jansen,Cassidy, and last but certainly not least Loran Tiffany Hill. Because if it wasnt for them having my back and making me laugh after i found out and just keeping a smile on my face that night i dont know what i would have done, then having Patty & Bucky text me all day Sunday checking on me and making sure im okay and making me laugh so hard at some of the stuff they said.. and reminding each other of hilarious stuff that took place that night, even though it was rough for me at points..I dont know what i would have done without you guys. So thank you :) I know i'll be okay! & i cant wait to hang out with all of you again. I love you guys.. SO if you (all of my 3 followers) read all this you deserve a pat on the back, im sorry i just needed to vent but not having to look at somebody and try to hold back tears while telling the story. But No tears during this thing, because it felt wonderful to get this off my chest. anyway i should really go now. Just thank you to anybody who has helped me comforted me wrapped their arms or anything, i know who my true friends are :) I love you guys!

How i met Zak :)

How did you meet your significant other? Answer all the questions HONESTLY and re post as "How I met _____"

1.) Where did you meet?

Bryant School dance in 2006 or 2007?

2.) Who introduced you?

I think either Whitney Bolton or Loran introduced us.

3.) What was the first thought that went through your head when you met?

i have no clue lol...

4.) Do you remember what he/she was wearing?

Nope..Lol

5.) Where was the place you shared " I LOVE YOU's"?

His driveway. :)

6.) How long did you know this person before you became a couple?

almost 4 years.

7.) How did he/she ask you out?

Wellllllll....he attempted to the night of my birthday but right as he said "Can i ask you a question" mom came outside and scared the crap outta him.. so it was we were sitting in his driveway in the backseat of Lorans car after going to a haunted house and he leaned over and whispered in my ear "Will you be my Girlfriend?" :)

8.) Do you have kids with this person?

That would be a no.

9.) Have you ever broken the law with this person?

Uhhh...i dont think so?

10.) When was the first time you realized that you really liked this person?

Well in started in July.. but came more official on my end In August at Tashas Party :)

11.) Do you get along with his/her family?

Everybody except Dexx. haha Just kidding. Yes i love them! :)

12.) Do you trust this person?

Yes, its a must.

13.) Do you see her/him as your partner in the future?

I try to take relationships one day at a time..i try to keep the word "future" out of my vocabulary, and live one day at a time.

14.) What is the best gift she/he gave you?

Hisself :)

15.) How long have you been with this person?

218 days officially :) haha about 8 months.

16.) How well do you know your man or woman?

Pretty well.. We are still learning new stuff about each other though. :)

17.) What features attracted you to him first?

His sweetness. His eyes, smile, uhhh and maybe a few more things ;) like everything.

18.) Hair color?

Brownnn.

19.) Does he/she let you wear their pants?

More like he wears my basketball shorts i wear his hoodies lol

20.) Do you have a shirt of hers/his that you sleep in?

No at the moment.

21.) Does she/he make you happy?

You have no idea :)

22.) Does she/he have any piercings?

no.

23.) Does she/he have any scars that you know of?

Yeah..

24.) Is she/he Outgoing or Shy?

Um it seems to me he can be a little of both.. But for the most part,outgoing.

25.) Does she/he sing?

Yeah when we are in the car :)

26.) Do you like her/his friends?

yeah i lovee themm :)

27.) Does she/he have any tattoos?

no.

28.) Does she/he look like their mom?

He looks like his daddy for the most part. He has a few of his mommas features.

30.) What is the most romantic date you've ever been on?

that one night in Feb <3

31.) Do you have any nicknames for each other?

He tends to call me Whizzle. & i tend to call Him Z-breezy. Lol but that is his football nickname..

32.) Do you live with this person?

Lol, no.

33.) Do you have any pets together?

Alek :) My pillow pet!

34.) Where is this person?

Sleeping, poor kid, stays tired.

35.) What is your anniversary date?

October 2,2010 :)

36.) When will you guys do something next?

Probably whenever he gets ungrounded... Lol apparently i forgot to go do his chores.

"His Eyes Are Over the Righteous& His ears are open unto their cries!"

WOW. to say the least. first of all i want to say THANK YOU LORD for watching over me & my family and our home. we are so blessed to have no damage what so ever. But On the other hand my heart goes out to the boatner family. I love that family with all my heart they are all so sweet! Linda Sue was like my own Mawmaw she was one of the sweetest ladies i knew! & Chelsie... I have always told myself that if it was for chelsie i might not would have god on my side today, cause she is the one who kinda "broke the ice" during our revival in 2007. SHe got it that mondya i got it tuesday, and her pawpaw went to heaven that friday! So all i can think about right now is her & linda sue get to go see Ole Ollie b :) because i know they sure have missed him, we all do. & i hope and pray that this opens up the eyes of all of our lost ones out there, that it pays to be ready because it very easily could have been one of them gone and there they would be. But God took two of his children home to be with him, and that gives me comfort when i start thinking about it. I dont really know what else to say but i just cant thank the lord enough for watching over us.. Because that was probably some of the most praying i have ever done. & all day all was on my mind was "his eyes are over the righteous and his ears are open to their cries" which singing it throughout the day gave me a peace to let me know i was gonna be okay. but there ws still that little bit in me that became scared when i found out about losing 2 loved ones. Just pray For ALL the families that have lost loved ones and homes today!

Love, Whit<3

Tissues..Medicine..&Tomato soup. Welcome back Spring!

Ugh. the week of the cornbread festival and i have done nothing for the past 2 days but stay in bed.. & its killing me. This is the first night of the carnival and i am missing it because of this stinking stuff. I cant wait to get out of this house and be able to breathe fresh air!!!! Its killing me! I just hope i can get this outta my system before the cbf this weekend. I need so good time with the boyfriend & bestfriend (: which you can never have to much of that (: well i guess i have done enough complaining for now( i kinda just wanna watch the new show the voice) So i guess i will go ttyl

-Whit :)

Long time no see...

Well its been about one year since i have posted and since i cant update you on that much information. I think i will just start back off with a picture post from the past few months...Enjoy! :)
-Whit